The Sound of One Crow Laughing

Good Lord...

2010-04-29T07:25:00.001-07:00

~blows the dust off the door, steps aside for the exodus of bats and squirrels~

Broken links and last update better than a year ago? You'd think nobody lived here anymore!

Not the case, I assure you--rather, I've spent the time building books and skills and digging on life in a full-immersion kind of way.

We'll have a new post soon, once I get images back up in the old ones, and show you a few of the things I've been up to.

So! How was YOUR year-and-change, then?

Mixing Media

2009-04-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

First off, a link to a video that's been a simultaneous comfort and boot-to-the-tail for me ever since I found it.

Because anything holy help you if you are simultaneously blessed with a creative streak and perfectionist tendencies.

~0~

The Evil Gazebo proceeds apace--here's one of which I'm rather proud.

The cover fabric started out a pale dove grey. When a few washes of black dye didn't give me a look I was happy with, I wrapped it around my trusty PVC pipe and hit the peaks with a red Shiva Paintstik.

It was the first time I'd worked with the paintstiks, so I wasn't sure what to expect. They turned out to be incredibly easy to handle (so long as I didn't try to get into any fine detail) and delightfully smudgeproof (given ample time to cure and thorough heat setting.) Well. The first was taken care of with bound resist; the second could be done with patience and a household iron. Good stuff.

Also discovered that if I let the gaps between wraps of thread be ~.5", and if I wasn't too fussy about keeping things straight-and-even, unexpected beauty could turn up.

All in all, I'm pleased with the effect. Pleased enough to have a blue-on-black piece waiting to be made into bookcloth, and plans for bronze-on-brown. And for other projects, maybe doing more with the actual dye... Oh, the possibilities...

So here's to a successful mingling!

Next time, "Fun With Galvanic Etching", or "More Nail Polish and More Power"

Long Time Gone

2009-03-02T13:58:00.000-08:00

Hail, thou patient readers. :)

I coughed a bit when I looked at the "last post on" date. It's been a month? More than a month? Where does the time go?

Well.

A fair portion of it went into the furious production of books, once I put hands on more PVA. Here's to Southerland Station art supply in Huntsville, for finding a supplier in Atlanta who carried an archival glue and could ship during a warm snap. I've got a gallon on order, now; this is a problem I shouldn't have to worry about again for a little while.

What else?
Ah!
A smaller commission, a one-off for the same gentleman who commissioned my first leather-covered book. We've been experimenting with etching brass on this one. Ahh, electricity and chemicals...

Photo posts and more details to follow. There're a couple of things I'm really proud of, it's just a matter of pausing in the doing of them so as to write about them...

So that's how my month's been--how about yours?

Cue the Adventure Music

2009-01-26T10:23:00.000-08:00

Note to self (and anyone playing along at home):
Buy PVA in bulk. In the summer.
Or heck, even in spring or fall!
Do what you have to do to avoid running out in winter.
Because when PVA freezes (as it might well do on the delivery truck between Ann Arbor, MI and Huntsville, AL), it curdles, and when it curdles, it stops being glue.

Further notes: 16oz of the Hollander's PVA will do at least 30 books, probably more if I started using a squeegee instead of a brush to spread it. Hmmm....

The upshot of this is that I get to experiment with wheatpaste today.
Thankfully, I'm not cutting any new trail--others, like Rhonda at My Handbound Books, have been kind enough to post recipes and pictures of what the process should look like.

Keep your fingers crossed, thou lovely readers.

Fun things...

2008-11-19T13:22:00.000-08:00

1) I'm finally getting off my duff and puttering around with the blog's formatting! I've managed to lose several hours today looking at the bones of various freely-available templates and at tutorials far beyond me. In the back of my head lives the sneaking urge to learn to ACTUALLY WRITE THIS STUFF, but for the moment, I'm bribing it with snippets and tweaks to existing code.

2) Finished a set of stemcharms for the silent auction my son's preschool holds every year. The parents all chip in things for themed baskets, then bid on them to raise money so we can all dodge a tuition increase. Judging by the rest of the contents of Dae's class's basket (two bottles of bubbly, glasses to drink it from, noisemakers, etc.), I'm guessing the theme is "New Year's Eve Party At Home". Bless Anglicans.

Anyhow, there are pictures!

One of these days, I'll remember to set up a tripod and lighting for shots like these...

Breaking the Surface

2008-11-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

Just wrapped up another shipment of The Evil Gazebo. I'm finding that I actually like doing a string of similar books--it gives me the chance to try one different thing with every iteration.

Filed under "Oh, for the love of God!"

2008-10-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

So...

I've spent the past 45 minutes or so sewing a book together. Nothing new. Trying out something with a tacket binding that doesn't leave strings waving in the breeze (because there're two things I can't stand: wavy strings and cut off ends inside a signature). It was going pretty well, too; look!

Just one problem:

...
~sighs, curses, and breaks out the embroidery scissors...~

Pictures! (finally)

2008-10-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

Finally getting round to posting pictures of the first two books in Brni's edition. I TOOK pics of the other two, but they're both so jittery, it's hard to tell whether they're books or Fungi from Yoggoth.

Anyway, here's the set so far.

And here's a poster-book!

Anatomy and Physiology of Paper

2008-09-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

~chuckle~ It's always fun when my interests (bookbinding) intersect with my husband's (reloading and shooting). In this case, he went looking for information on paper patching and found a forum post on the A&P of paper by a guy with a BS in Paper Science and Engineering. If you read through the whole thread, the poster comes back and adds data pretty regularly. It's interesting stuff.

Granted, it's slanted toward people who're taking the paper, wrapping it round a bullet, and sending it through the barrel of their favourite rifle.

But it's idea-hamster chow anyhow, hey?

Have a good one, all. :)

Things Learnt Today:

2008-09-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

1) The coptic stitch, while lovely and easy on the brain, does not seem to lend itself to bindings involving three or fewer signatures. We get to figure out either how to modify it, or something else to do in its stead, for the Evil Gazebo.

2) However! The coptic stitch CAN be done through a pierced piece of reinforced-into-oblivion bookcloth. Requires a bit of fidgeting and lots of going through fiddly little holes, but it CAN be done, and would probably be quite pretty...if done on something with more than three signatures. File this idea and come back to it, we will.

3) The up-side to only having three sigs and a cover to deal with is that a book--from cutting out the bookcloth and drilling holes in the cover boards to gluing everything down and putting it in the press--can go together in something like seven hours, even when you're not totally certain what you're doing. We'll see how other bindings go together in comparison.

Also fun: I set up a last.fm station for workmusic. Woohoo. :)

About to take the plunge...

2008-09-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

And actually order binder's board.

Here's the thing. I've said before that I'm a student of the James O'Barr school of art--you use what you have to make what you need.

Up till now, I've been using cardstock for my light bindings and canvas-covered boards like this one for my hard-covers, orr, more recently, wood. Why? Because I don't have the facilities/tools to cut Davey board. It's stout stuff, and it requires a stouter blade than my X-Acto and a steadier hand than mine on a metal straightedge. But for all its stoutness, taking a saw to it (as we did for the recent wood boards) is a bit of overkill.

Now, these things are alright--indeed, they're downright conveinient, as long as you've got or can make paper to fit inside a book made of artist's panels. And paper's easy. Find it big, pay attention to the grain, cut it down, done.

But what you gain in conveinience, you lose in artistic range. Try a case binding when you can't find or cut board thick enough to match the 1/8" thick panels you're using for your covers. Try making a springback. It's possible, but you'll be there for a while, laminating the spring up to ~3/16" to balance where the boards will be by the end of things. Settle in.

Hence the great weight of Coptic stitched books in my portfolio. Even the pretty, new leatherbound article has a double-needle coptic stitch under all (I have an excuse--it's Period! ~grin~). Now, this has served well; I'm getting pretty good at a coptic stitch. Nothing to sneeze at, to be sure.

But as of Monday, I'll be in the run-up to binding an edition of 100 books over the next year. Each one a little different. As different as I choose to make 'em, honestly. And since there's a limit to how often you can dangle pretty beads off of a coptic stitched spine before the look is Done, I figure it's about time to bite the bullet and Buy Actual Board.

It's scary, but exciting, too.

And hey, even St. James graduated from Bics to Copics.

Quote of the day:

2008-09-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

"Good things happen to those who hustle."
--Anais Nin.

It's Done!

2008-09-11T05:25:00.000-07:00

What's more--it's done and out of my hands!
(which means pictures for the rest of the world)

Here y'go!

Hm.

2008-09-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

Steven Brust makes a rather pointed observation, and I find myself nodding agreement and wondering, "Yes, but how to change it?"

In other news, I'm coming to the conclusion that when I'm planning a cover, I need to take Ideas A and B and feed them to Idea C. Don't even bother working them out in realtime; build them mentally and poke them till they break, then feed the bits of them to the next idea. And maybe THEN I'll be able to get to the end of a book without a "Well....Damn." moment.

That, to say that I'm finally happy enough with Seamus's book to hand it to him in exchange for shiny gold rocks. But it's been a humdinger, getting there. Bloody Tudor roses.

Notes to Self:

2008-09-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

Jones Tones Foil: It works infinitely better on sueded leather than on buttery-soft, sleek kidskin. Something about the glue stays gummy instead of drying to the ideal tackiness, whether it's left to cure for one hour or ten. Maybe better luck on fabric?

Buttery-soft, vegetable tanned kidskin: Oh, so sweet. How I love you, you lightweight and slightly spongy goatflesh. I will know better, next time, than to try and tool you at all.

PVA: When you're accustomed to the oh-god-get-it-right-the-first-time-glue-and-paper-and-board-meet-because-trying-to-pull-that-apart-will-end-the-WORLD!!!!!111eleventyone!! of working with thin paper? PVA's leather-to-wood drying time is *perfect*.

Of course, now that I've said that, life will cause something to go sideways and prove me wrong, but hey. What're hypotheses for if not for breaking?

Speaking of which--

Plans for cover treatments: Make three of them, at least. Expect the first one to go directly to hell without stopping for lunch. Be ready for the second one to follow it.

the PVA/leather/wood bond: Not as irreversable as I'd been led to believe. This opens interesting possibilities for other bindings.

Freehanding metal leaf paint or foil glue: Will give you a result roughly similar to kindergarteners' fingerpainting. Don't do it. Have a pattern. Work the pattern. If you can't get a pattern onto the lovely squeeshy kidskin, consider moving on to Cover Plan B or C.

***

One of these days, I'll pause and tag all the bookbinding stuff so it's easier to get at. Not tonight, though. Tonight, there's The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe to read to my boyo. Somehow, I (a Baptist preacher's granddaughter) managed to miss the heavy allegory inherant in Aslan and his sacrifice, the first time I read that book. I'm'a see if I can ease Dae through the same way. Years down the line, if he re-reads things and is floored by the similarities between Aslan and certain other Summer Kings, so be it. But this time through, I'd like to just read him a faery tale.

***

Edited to add:

Gosh darn the odd twists of the intarwebs.
I usually avoid places like Talas and Hollanders, specifically because I come out wanting things like this.

But someone in the bookbinding list I read asked where in Aus. or the Net could Davey board be found, and so I ducked into Hollanders to see what their international shipping policies were, since I'm not checked out on Australian commerce, but the Net, I'm learning the knots in.

And found that...

~sigh; snicker at self~

Progress

2008-09-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

Huzzah.

The endbands were sewn down without incident, and the pastedowns--I was right; they would want a touch of reworking--are pasted. Now for another 19-hour stay in the press while I figure out how to transfer the badge art onto the cover, and we're gold.

Didn't get shots of the book pre-leathering, and didn't get shots mid-endbanding, and that's a drag. But I've gotten a few pictures of it post-leather and post-endbanding, and tomorrow, I'll get some of the pastedowns.

(another first: my first zoomorphic knot, a fox. It's a weird amalgam of Viking knotwork styles, the eldest of which is still a good 50 years younger than the binding style. But it's handsome anyhow, and this is the Meridian SCA. The only people in Kingdom who're THAT concerned with Period Accuracy are either A&S judges, or heavy fighters trying to edge out light fighters and folk wanting to use "firearms"*. And She Who Will Be Queen is fond of Viking knotwork and foxes. So hey.)

Largest lesson learnt:
Prototype, prototype, prototype.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*-"firearms" being rubberband guns. Flagrantly period, the real thing is; RBGs are a nice, non-lethal proxy. It's just that the Knights hear "musketeer" and think Louis XIV (and other lightfighters hear *thunk* off their masks in melee) and they get twitchy. Something tells me if they learnt how to make and use the things, they'd see the shiny. But then we get into why guns replaced swords as prime war-weapons, and that smacks too much of reality for most of the anachronists in the audience, for whom time should've stopped when Elizabeth I died. Le sigh.

Victory!!!! (so far, anyway.)

2008-09-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

Just spent an hour and a half lovingly rubbing leather onto wooden boards. Discovered that when you use the heel of your hand to turn edges and smooth things across the board, instead of fingertips or knuckles, everything spreads more evenly and you don't get weird ridges and grooves.

And here's to Abi Sutherland's Bookweb. Thanks to her neatly-illustrated tutorial, I now have a ~4x6x1" semiStonyhurst book with tabbed corners. Nice, neat, not too bulky, cozy rounded corners so's not to snag things in the gearbag/poke folk/come apart under use.

At the moment, it's wrapped sleekly in a soft and unwrinkled cloth (a cut-off sleeve from a shirt I'm modifying, actually), in the press, where it'll stay for at least the next 22 hours. And then the adventure of semi-Period endbands begins. I've got the cores and the wrapping-thread all ready already, so that shouldn't give too much cause for freakout.

Now to look at the pastedowns I've made and see whether they'll work as is with the book, or whether it'd be the better part of valour to set 'em aside for another project and rework 'em on different paper.

Either way, this project should be wrapped by Sunday, and Monday, there'll be photos.

Huzzah!!!
~dances~

The Flipside of "How to Annoy Your Artist":

2008-08-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

"Things to Remember When Discussing a Job With a Potential Customer"

2008-08-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

Today: Adventures in foiling. That ugly little periwinkle book is about to get even worse; today, we subject it to Jones Tones foil glue and pearl-sheen foil. I've painted the glue on in some places and squeezed it straight from the bottle in others. After lunch, I'll attack it with the foil.

And after the foil's on, then comes the real fun: stress testing.

:D

See, this lovely little book I'm making? It's probably going to wind up in a fencing bag, jostling round with the mask and gloves and daggers and rubber fish. I want it to be lovely, yes. But I also want it sturdy enough to survive an active life in the SCA.

So once again, my little prototype takes one for the team. If the foils can't stand up to my roughousing, I'm going back to the drawing board for a cover-treatment. Maybe glue some cords onto the wood in fun pattern before the leather goes on, like the Stonyhurst was done? Hm...

(I love this.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news....
Why I'm Glad We're Renting:

Yesterday, the water heater decided to irrigate the carpet in half the apartment. Slowly, so as to give the padding time to really soak things up. It was doing a lovely job of it, too. At first we'd thought the dampness was from recent rains soaking the ground under another crack in the foundation (yeah; we've got one of those, too... This is why we don't brew in this apartment), by 5:00 last night, the damp had spread into the dining room, and the hallway was making a rich *splorch* underfoot.

Insert frenzied removal of all things permeable from the floors of half the apartment here. The diningroom table looks like half our craft supplies and books all saw a spider, shrieked, and climbed aboard.

Several hours and calls to the emergency maintenance guys later, the water heater was replaced and the halls were attacked with a Shop Vac. Now I've got all the windows open and an industrial strength fan blowing down the halls. And cicadas competing with Jonathan Coulton for soundspace.

Eyah. Well. It's all getting dry, anyway. And the cicadas are fun! :D

Productive!

2008-08-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

Finally found the Rush album we've been missing. ~dances~

And! andandand... I've got two books down and one to go!

Had some "fun" with the cover of one of the books--my original idea hit a snag, and I had to do a bit of reworking. But it turned out better with the reworking than the original would've been, so no loss.

The other... heh. ~grin~ The other is the second ugliest little book I've ever put together, but I am so damn proud of it, the thing may as well be family. You see, it's several firsts for me, all wrapped up in one periwinkle-and-purple package--my first wood-board book, my first leather binding, and my first time sewing in endbands! The corners are wonky and no two match, the headband looks nothing like the tailband, the pastedown papers are gaudy and too small (but handpainted!), and it doesn't sit quite square. AND the pages jut out from the foredge by a good eighth of an inch.

But it doesn't matter. Because it did what I made it to do: Now, when I'm working on the commissioned book, I'll know: tab the corners so they're not so bulky; measure the living daylights out of the pastedowns before you cut them or put them in; DON'T PUT THE PASTEDOWNS IN UNTIL EVERYTHING ELSE IS DONE! Keep track of where the needle's going in the spine, so the endbands look as pretty from the spine-side as they do from the inside. And Don't Be Afraid Of Leather. It's dead. It can't get you.

~bright smile~

I read someone's advice to new makers-of-things, saying roughly, "Don't spend a lot of time building a thing in your head; it just gives your inner critic ammunition when what you actually make doesn't exactly match the thing in your head. Instead, get a flash of an idea and go with it. Plan as you go."

And to a point, yeah, I can see the value in what she's saying. You've got to not get too attached to one outcome, because angels and demons are in the details.

But to a point, I find her advice to be nonsense. My flash of an idea will almost always be beyond me without I spend a few hours (or days) mentally building it and tearing it down and rebuilding it and poking its seams. That way, when the time comes to actually physically MAKE the thing, and something goes sideways, I'll have 1) an idea why things slipped and 2) a host of contingency plans in the wings, to patch it back up.

Eh.
I'm learning to take tutorials and advice like an owl takes a mouse--whole. Digest what you need; hurl the rest.

Binding books again...

2008-08-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

Recent things that make me grin:

-- Using the digital equivalent of a Bic pen and copy paper* to lay out text for printing as signatures for a book, and everything coming out right. Yes, there are programs (surely even open source programs!) that will impress things FOR me. That's not the point.

--Starting my day with a dremel and the smell of sawdust, and getting nice neat holes with no cover-paper-fluff and no chewed-up splinteryness.

--Doing a commission for a friend who knows how to give data (and remembering to ask for other data from this friend--I'm learning!). The binding for that one's going to be based on the reproductions I've seen of the Stonyhurst Gospel--yet another double-needle coptic stitch, but this time with wood boards instead of my usual gessoed museum-board, covered over in leather and with endbands sewn on. Yay, broadening my horizons! So really, this one book's going to be two, since I want to make a small mockup first to be sure of what I'm doing.

~sigh~ Life is good.

*- (A greater fan of the comic itself, correct me if I've got my mythology wrong, but...) If memory serves, when James O'Barr sat down to exorcise his demons (more or less) and create The Crow, he didn't wait to accumulate sleek bristol or fancy art pens; he used what he had to hand--a Bic and some copy paper.

I call it mythology because whether this is the truth of the matter or my romanticised memory of a retelling, that tidbit has been a great inspiration to me.

~sigh....~

2008-08-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Journey,

Congratulations! You've found a frontman who 1)has already demonstrated his ability to perform gruelling sets full of challenging vocals for days and weeks on end, 2)can gracefully share the stage with Neil Schon, 3)can make the Journey Sound without being a slavish imitator of Steve Perry, and 4)seems to be genuinely blissed doing these things. I hope to all things holy that you guys realise how rare and valuable these qualities are. Mr. Pineda is awesome and you guys all together are awesome.

Please. Don't break this one.

Sincerely,
Section 104, Row HH, Seat 15

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Soundguys at the Sommet Centre:

Wow.
Excellent mixing for an outdoor event!
Just one problem, guys:
The ceiling.

No love,
What's Left of Jess's Eardrums

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Security/Usher dude,

I got to snuggle my little boy while he slept through Journey's set because of the earplugs you gave him. I hope someday a stranger makes you as happy as you made me. Heck, man, I hope it happens daily for a week. You rock.

Thanks again,
Purple-haired Chick Who Hugged You.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All in all, it was an excellent night. Dae was game for the whole thing, never fussy, never whiny. It was just way past his bedtime before things got good and started. We'll try this "take your kid to a rock show" thing again once Dae's bested those pesky circadian rhythms, maybe with a band I've already primed him for (which leaves us who, Jason Mraz? Ani DiFranco? I've got a nasty habit of singing my kid songs by dead or disbanded guys, except for those two. Hm.).

Book recommendations, anyone?

2008-08-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

Backstory:

The whole reading thing--letters=sounds; sounds=letters; collections of sounds=words; hey that string of words on the page are words I know; LOOK A STORY!--gelled for me when I was about five. When I was about seven, my family drove up to Minnesota for Christmas; I remember sneaking away my mother's copy of The Rowan at a gas station and poring over the pages, wrapping my brain around this other world. Took Ma a good hour to realise her book wasn't where she'd left it; when she found it, she blinked a little and told me to ask her for clarification if I came across something I didn't get.

When we got home, I got the run of the family library. Anything I could reach, I could read.

So.

Dae's putting the pieces together. Sounds=letters, letters go together into printed words, which match words he knows... He's not reading yet, but he's getting closer. He's also growing more willing to listen to chapter-length blocks of story, whether there are pictures along or not. It's wild and cool to watch!

So I'm wondering-- Anyone have recommendations on good things to put within arm's reach of a newb? What was the first book--of any genre, although obviously, my first love is F/SF--that YOU put hands on and devoured?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news...
My wanderings through Heinlein's catalogue continue. Remember the lecture I was missing in Beyond This Horizon? About what entitled an armed man to greater authority than an unarmed one? I think I got a little of it from Starship Troopers. The bottom line thought there is that authority should be equal to responsibility, and only those who've put their lives on the line in service to freedom should have a voice in making the laws that bound that freedom round. That a "moral compass" isn't something that's woven into a person's core being; it's a thing that's learnt, formed of the reshaping of a person's survival instincts to include OTHER people's survival in addition to that one's own.

You know.

I have very little to argue with, there.

The way the man writes (and writes of) women still makes me shake my head--sometimes he's patting them on their lovely heads, sometimes he's setting them on the highest, most comfortable pedestal he can find, but rarely have I seen him making a woman a character with flaws and splinters, like his men have.

But then, if he'd made women with idiosyncratic faults, would he still have had rocks thrown at him with the word "misogynist" wrapped round them? How does a person "win," there?

It reminds me of the sort of feeling I get when I consider Japanese culture as a whole--it's beautiful and intricate, and I don't understand all of it and sure couldn't function in it without the patient grace of strangers. I'm sure there are rough spots to it. I'm certain there'd be aspects that'd wring my Western neck. But I don't know exactly where those parts are. So I'm a tourist. Respectful, willing to shift my habits to accommodate, willing to be happy. But still a tourist. Home is still more comfortable.

And I wonder sometimes whether that through-a-glass-darkly kind of gloss doesn't apply to how individuals interact with each other, too.

How about it? What landmines of gender bias and race privilege have I walked into now?

And again with Starship Troopers, I want to peek round the corners of the story. It feels like one short peek at a vast, interesting place, and I want to be a tourist in it for a while. But no, you get one peek and that's that. You want more stories, kid, YOU dream 'em up.

Eh. ~grin~ It could be worse. ;D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also finally got round to Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?.
~headshake, warm grin~ Nothing profound to say. I love Philip K. Dick's writing. I love how swiftly he builds a world, how easily he gets the reader on his wavelength and thinking with his world's logic. I love the sick feeling in the pit of my gut when he twists everything out from under his viewpoint character, and by extension, me. It's better than a tilt-a-whirl. Must find more...

2008-08-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

Mark and Dae are having another Go lesson. Dae's been waiting for it all week, and he's being so patient about learning the whys and hows of the game, and so eager. Not attached to winning so much as to playing. I'm proud.

But I can't be in the room while they do it; something about the silence heavy with attention makes me too edgy to sit still, and I don't want to be the stone that ripples their pond.

Time to curl up in bed and read.

Personal epiphany:

2008-07-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

When teaching me a thing, begin with practical data--straight lines to follow from one point to the next. Expose me to images of the process, tell me how it goes, be patient while I take notes. THEN give me the theory behind why we did what we just did.

Do it the other way round, and I'll be too busy trying to find a loophole in your "It is this way because it is this way" statements to really attend the hands-on. It's a failing; I'm overly wary of the unproven Word of God.

SHOW me it works this way before you tell me your reasons why. Layer things that way, and what you're trying to put in my head will shine like a newly chromed tailpipe.

2008-07-20T23:54:00.000-07:00

So. In the interest of saving my household a few bucks a month, I got a library card a few days ago and then spent an hour or so casing the local branch.

The Science Fiction shelf? One side of one shelf of about six feet by ten. Damn it. Sporadic Heinlein, a nigh complete Anne McCaffrey, and two Charles deLint. A bit of a let-down, this being the town that calls itself Rocket City and is proud as punch of its NASA presence.

But that got me thinking--in a city where engineers and geeks are thick on the ground, could it be that some of the SF has wandered into common fiction?

And lo and behold.

I despair of ever grokking these cats' organisation; it bears no resemblance to anything I've seen elsewhere. All fiction, alpha by author, and then by either pub date (I wish) or alpha by title (and to hell with genre!) would make more sense than this fragmented monster and expose a person wandering the aisles between Brust and Zelazney to a greater number of possible reads. But hey. Once again, I'm without the necessary documentation to comment, so I'll just learn the ropes and swing on 'em.

A query for those more intimately acquainted with the Dewey Decimal System than I, though--was comparative religion always kept so close to political science and so far from history, or is this another local vagary?

Anyhow.

All of that to say that I've managed to stumble across the original occurrence of the phrase "an armed society is a polite society". Heinlein's Beyond This Horizon. And you know, for all of my original complaint that the man lectured rather than telling a story? That's one aspect of his vision of utopia in this book that he never touches. It's fairly important landscape, the responsibility of the armed to the unarmed (and the assumed privilege that accompanies that responsibility). I want to know more about what qualifies a person to go armed and what's assumed about a person who doesn't and all kinds of other things, but he never chases that rabbit far from the story he's telling. I get the feeling it's because the concept was a thought experiment for him, and he wasn't wholly convinced. I don't know, though, and it makes me curious.

The one time I'm in it for a lecture. ~snaps fingers~

Other complaints from Stranger in a Strange Land re: depiction of women and general patter-y-ness don't strike me in this one, either. Only once or twice have I winced for either of those reasons, and then things were eased by, "But it's consistent for this character, not consistent across all characters".

As for the story itself... meh. I appreciate the ideas he proposes and love the language he uses. The paradise he's made is one I wouldn't mind touring, if I thought for a second I could survive it. The characters all have their own voices. But I spent the whole book wanting to peek around the edges of the story he was telling, because the thought that he seemed intent on conveying was...background?...to the one I was interested in. If it were McCaffrey, I'd rest easy--this one's To Ride Pegasus; in time, I'll get no fewer than seven books to explore the possibilities tossed up here. But it's not. It's Heinlein. And I have no idea whether he was much given to long continuities.

Again, the one time I came for a lecture.

Although looking at it, maybe that's why he's inspired so many different people--the things he left unsaid took root in their minds and bloomed. In which case, bless you, Sir. But damn, all the same.

And now it's 01:30 and I've been staring at the screen for five minutes.
Mark is snoring; methinks he has the right idea.
G'night, all.

How to Annoy Your Artist:

2008-07-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

So you have a project and you want to use original art with it, but you don't just want the art. You want art a friend has made. You want your artist friend hissing and spitting in the background while providing said art. You want her cursing in every language she knows. Why? Because it adds a certain something to the finished project.

Here, then, is how to go about getting that I-don't-know-what out of your otherwise serene friend:

1. Never speak of budget.
If your artist is a pro, she will probably try to soak you for every dime of it, if it's sizeable. If she knows it's roughly equivalent to your pocket lint, she might not take the job. And if she doesn't have three degrees in this sort of thing, then she's really not worth paying.

2. Never give firm requirements.
Artists thrive on freedom, and actually telling them what you're looking for imposes limits on the process. It's better to let your artist hone her mindreading skills--she can discern from your fawning what your image and product requirements are, and no matter your budget (see above), she can find a way to get what you need when you need it (see below).

3. Never check your e-mail, or if you accidentally happen to check it, never reply.
Your artist asks for feedback so you can stroke her ego. It's a childish habit that you need to break her of. And besides, any work that doesn't fit the design you've been silently cherishing in your head can easily be reworked in the last days before you need your product (see below).

4. Never speak of deadlines.
Your artist was trained by Montgomery Scott and can accomplish anything in three hours, if you press hard enough.

5. If you decide to nix the project midstream, go blithely on about your business.
After all, your artist will know her services are no longer required when she hasn't heard from you in a few weeks.

~exhales, shakes head~
And of course, every single issue that I snarkily point out here can also be tracked to a failure to communicate on my part. If I'd asked these questions outright before even touching this project, this thorn would've worked its way out of my side faster than you can say "survival instinct". The things you learn the hard way...

Movement

2008-06-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

"Why do there have to be badguys?" Dae asked one morning on our way to school.

It trips me up and trips me out to hear the timeless lucidity that comes out of his mouth sometimes. Times like that feel like we've stepped offstage into the dusty dimness of the wings, and are standing there together with our thumbs in our suspenders, admiring the propmakers' skill. Two old souls taking a smoke break before we're due to get back out there and deliver our next lines.

"What do you mean, boo?" I ask, mostly to see what he'll say.

"In movies. Why's there always a badguy?"

"To move the story along, lovey. To make the goodguys be good instead of just guys. To make the characters grow."

"To make the story move?"

"Yep. No badguy, or no conflict, no change. No story."

"Hm."

A few days later we were watching another movie, and as the story unfolded to show what the main problem was going to be, I heard him murmur, "There have to be badguys to make the story move."

I'm curious what plant will grow from that seed. Will he hear religious stories with an ear out for how the bad guy gives the good guy purpose? Have I just laid the groundwork for my son to become a mass murdurer? Or will it turn into compassion? Into a keen eye for the way people deal with one another? "What you do, do swiftly," and then on about his business?

I don't know. I have hopes, but I don't know.

2008-06-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

I am one very happy hippy.

Maybe, JUST MAYBE, now places like Virginia Tech will realise that guns are tools that can be used to SAVE and PROTECT lives, too.

Remember kids: An armed society is a polite society.

EDIT, 7:14PM: Here's a .pdf of the whole decision. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that an armed society is one less helpless in the face of its government.

Music geekery

2008-06-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Mom called about a month ago, asking whether I had anything planned for the seventh of August. "No, not really," I asnwered. "Why?"
"Because Journey's coming to Nashville with Cheap Trick, and tickets go on sale tomorrow. I'll spring for 'em if you're in."
"Might have fun arranging someone to watch Dae in the middle of the week..."
"Bring him. You were younger than he was the first time I took you to a concert."
"This is true..."

So with visions of Charlie Daniels and Alabama dancing in my head*, I nested on ticketmaster.com and landed three seats midway up the mezzanine. Booyah.

This morning, she called again. "Did you know that Steve Augeri isn't with Journey anymore?"

Well. No. And honestly, I'm a bit disappointed. I liked his stage presence, and he had a clear, clean voice that did Journey's songs justice.
And he was cute.**

"Who'd they get to replace him?" I ask, bringing up Google and firing queries at it.
"I don't know, but he's cute."
"Can he pull the music off?"
"Don't know. Just caught the tail end of the piece on TV."
"Well let's find out..."

Gentleman's name is Arnel Pineda, and his story is just wild. What kills me is this:

"Videos of The Zoo performing cover songs by Journey, Survivor, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Air Supply, The Eagles, Kenny Loggins and other popular acts from the 70s, 80s and 90s, began appearing on YouTube.com in February 2007. On June 28, 2007,[11] Neal Schon of Journey contacted Noel Gomez, a longtime fan and friend of Pineda who uploaded many of these videos, to ask for Pineda's contact information. Schon sent an e-mail to Pineda inviting the latter to audition for Journey. Pineda initially dismissed the e-mail as a hoax, but after being persuaded by Gomez, he finally replied to Schon's e-mail. Ten minutes later, Pineda received a phone call from Schon.[12] On August 12,[13] Pineda, along with his manager Bert de Leon, flew to Marin County, just north of San Francisco, for a two-day audition."

Welcome to new media, you know? It's awesome.

So yeah. I'm looking forward to August. Because if YouTube is to be believed, Mr. Pineda rocks.

And he's cute, too. ;D

*- My first show, at the worldly age of three. I remember clearly Randy Owens standing in the spotlight, the crowd's silence in the darkness around him thick enough to touch. The smile on his face as he leaned in, gripped the mic... and made The Redneck Noise at full volume, straight into it. This marks my first exposure that sound, and while the rest of the audience draws breath to cheer back at him, I offer my opinion (also at full volume): "Mama--he's a loudmouth!" The darkness coughs and swallows. The man on stage peers toward the mezzanine and answers, "Well thank y', darlin'." And the show goes on. Mother was mortified.

**--First Journey concert, at the Ryman, in the balcony, with Chris-the-DM in tow. Mr. Augeri's been losing buttons from his black velvet shirt all night, and now he's down to two. My mother's whistles can be heard from the floor, but my hopeful catcalling is only caught by her to one side of me and Chris to the other. I receive an elbow to the ribs from him and, "I want to hear no more shit about me liking the Spice Girls."

Not much more to say...

2008-02-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

There're a few more at Crow's Eye View from the rinsing of the first pole of arashi and the dying of the second.

Meanwhile, in the newly-cleaned bathtub, Dae is testing his breath control skillz (and my patience) by singing the same pitch on an "aaaaaah" very very quietly for as long as he possibly can. The part of my brain that never stops humming is doing the happy mama dance--we'll get him into a choir yet! The part of my brain that can identify music however faint but has to read lips to catch half of what's being said directly to it is climbing the walls.

Accomplished Jess can crash now...

2008-02-17T15:30:00.000-08:00

(at least till Dae's off to school tomorrow...)

There.

Roughly 24 hours from the time this idea really got off the ground, I now have two scarf-to-be things sewn (save for endseams, because I have dreams of sparkly beadfringe), wrapped, and squished.

One of the two is currently soaking in its dye, wrapped in saranwrap and trashbags and hopefully not dripping technicolour onto the boyo's bathroom closet floor.

The other is waiting for tomorrow and fresh soda-ash water to be dyed.

If I get that part of things done by noon or one, tomorrow, I'll rinse and cut loose the first one while the second steeps.

And we'll see how THAT goes...

Since I have dye mixed anyway...

2008-02-16T16:57:00.000-08:00

I was musing on shibori and the various breeds of it last night while Mark was trying to go to sleep. Figured it was fair balance after significant portions of conversation involving chamber pressure and why a certain load of gunpowder in a certain casing with a certain bullet will go straight through a living being with comparatively small entrance and exit wounds as opposed to another load/casing/bullet, which would blow the same being wide. The physics of it, you know? Fascinating stuff, but not exactly my cuppa.

So I figured, as I chattered on about the potential fun to be had with arashi shibori, if only I had a large-bore PVC pole and some sturdy synthetic string, that this would be the fibre arts version of the Bedtime Ramble I used to give Dae.*

And then he blinked at me and got out of bed and wandered out of the room...

And came back with a chunk of PVC tubing roughly the size of my thigh.

"Would this do?"

... :D

Yes, actually...

So today, we raided Hancock's for ivory cotton lawn and all the notions needed to make scarves for his mother and a friend of hers, then came home and wrapped one of the lengths of lawn round the pole, squished it down, and bleached it. At the moment, it's stewing in its hydrogen peroxide neutralising bath, making the house smell like a doctor's office (yes, we have a window open and a fan going). When the timer beeps, I'll rinse it, rescue it from the pole, and give it a round in the washer and dryer to see how it's turned out.

Then we'll hem both lengths, wrap 'em again, and play with dye.

And yes, there will be pictures.

(~bounces with glee~ I get to play with polewrapping!!! Oh, the things that can be done....)

Wish me luck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*- One night, I told him the entirety of the story within the first few chapters of Genesis; another night it was Exodus. Think it was religious indoctrination? Go back and read the texts, then consider who you're talking to. :) And in addition to instilling in my boyo an appreciation for dramatic irony, it knocked him right out. Good stuff.

Notes on The Process:

2008-02-15T14:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Self:

When Dharma includes a dustmask in the kit with dyes and Synthrapol and soda ash, they are not making a polite suggestion.

I don't want to hear any nonsense about the humidity in Alabama being sufficient to keep fine particulate matter in the bottle where it belongs. The second you start mixing secondary colours with the dyepowder instead of waiting to play with the liquid version of dye, you lose all sorts of possible ground.

Don't believe me?

Blow your nose, then explain to me turquoise.

Thank you.

Yours in exasperated affection,
The Left Brain.

The Morning Squee:

2008-02-04T06:56:00.000-08:00

Huzzah for Making Light giving Abi Sutherland front-page-content privileges!

Because now I get to read all kinds of interesting people opine on rebinding published books and binding books anew and whatever else the fertile soil of the comments page grows.

AND! I get to see her Flickr things tagged 'bookbinding'!

SQUEEEE!!!!

(In other, less-squeeable news: Seems like all of us here in the house have fallen afoul of either post-nasal drip or the chili or something--none of us got to sleep without returning some portion of our dinner to the Great White God. Poor Mark didn't get to sleep until about 03:30 this morning. He, therefore, is taking a half day to snooze so he can be productive when he *does* get to work.

And Dae...~headshake~ I know his grandmother has some sense. She's bought a house, gone back to college, and raised three children on a schoolteacher's salary. That doesn't give a person a large margin for error. It certainly doesn't leave a lot of time or money for doctor's visits; I know she knows how to feed a child with a fever who hurls your first offering. Why in the gods' own names she thought giving Dae a syrupy-sweet cherry icee--a whole one to himself!--and then frying him up a well-seasoned chicken patty were Good Ideas, given a fever and a queasy stomach, I will never know. Although "Well, he asked, and he eats so little here anyway..." would probably be my answer, if I inquired.

"It's affection, even if it doesn't look that way." You're absolutely right, and that's some comfort...but not a whole lot. ~wry smile~

So we're observing the little man this morning...

As for myself? ~shrug~ I'm doing surprisingly well for about four hours' sleep. Will probably lay down and die for a little while later today, but so far, we're functional.

Gentle, easy foods for all of us today.
And vitamins.
And water.
And sleep.

2008-01-23T20:20:00.000-08:00

Curved needles make the much-beloved double needle coptic stitch SO much easier.

Got the wee book sewn most of the way together in two hours, tonight.
Now to anchor everything, figure out what I'm going to do with the loose ends, take pictures, and nip it into the press for a day! This, I may do after breakfast tomorrow.

Then, my friend Krys shall have a wee little blank book.

~wiggle full of glee~

And then I get to bind and dye a shirt for Mark.
And then I get to figure out charms for a bracelet (and then assemble said bracelet).
And all the while, I plot and scheme how to take prose from its raw form into something printable, and then how to bind and cover said printing.
And keep my eye out for the next project.

...~exhale, smile~
Now if only I can figure out how to turn a profit at this...

Sometimes there's a ring around the moon...

2008-01-21T22:48:00.000-08:00

You know...

The more time I spend behind a viewfinder, trying to find the view I saw without it?

The more I think that sometimes, the beauty is in the transience and elusiveness of some moments, some images.

How to Format Signatures Without Special Programs

2008-01-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

(unless, of course, a word processing program bigger than WordPad classifies.)

Recently, I promised someone a writeup of how I've been formatting things to print, and figured I'd post it here while I had it.

At the moment, I'm working my way through Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows, the text of which can be found here. So far, the theory holds. It's time consuming, but it's hands-on. I like that. It means the only error possible is mine, and I can fix my own errors. :D Here's hoping it's of aide to him, or to any of you playing along at home.

(be warned, though: It's wordy.)

Lock-Ups and Formatting for Printing,
(and re-inventing the wheel)

Making the Lock-up:

“Lock-up” is the word my ex-husband would always use when talking about the grid pattern he used to help him put pages to be printed in order. He, being a mathematical creature, had a formula for setting one up; my way was always more visual/pattern oriented, and it's this I give to you. As yet, it hasn't failed me.

1) Decide how big you want your signature to be--that is, how many pages you want each signature to have. For this example, we'll use six sheets of paper folded in half for twelve leaves and 24 pages.
2) Make a mock-up of a single signature. It doesn't have to be the same size as your intended finished product, but it does have to have the same number of pages. Once you've got them all folded together into a signature, go through and number the corners of the pages in order, as they would be in the book.
3) Open the signature flat and lay its pages out. You should see something like this:

4) When you put the fronts and backs together into a grid,

a pattern emerges:

5) Following the same pattern, you can set up a lock-up for a signature of any size.

6) Once you have a pattern made for your first signature, go on and set up patterns for the rest of your text. It'll save time and hassle later. Also, feel free to make those grids big enough to annotate—the first page of a printed book is rarely the first page of the story inside it, after all.

A good idea before beginning to print: Print a sentence or two on both sides of a sheet with your intended printer and paper, so you can tell a) which way your printer feeds first, so when you flip pages to print their backs on, everything is oriented properly, and b) whether your paper is thick enough to have printed matter on both sides without a lot of bleedthrough. Keep this page close to hand. If bleedthrough is a problem, consider heavier paper (which might affect your signature size) or see whether you can adjust how much ink your printer puts out. Every printer is a little different; getting to know yours will save you MUCH trouble later. Now then, on to...

Formatting the Text:

First step: Apply formatting to your source text.
Don't change the order of things yet. Right now, we're just applying orientation and margins and columns to your source text, to see what will end up on a page. Now would be a good time to add blank spots for the bits that'll be glued to the endpapers and title pages, publication data, etc., and to tip page numbers into the corners of the text of the book. Have a look at a professionally printed book for formatting ideas, and when the time comes to start transferring data, remember to make that blank first page your Pg 1, and paste accordingly. So.

Second step: Tell your word processor and printer what size paper you're working with.

For the sake of the example, let's say you're using standard-sized typing paper for your sheets, since 8.5x11/A4 is the usual default. If your printer will print smaller- or larger-than-standard sheets without complaint, you've a bit of freedom in final size here. If the odd-sizes are possible, then go to the File menu and select Page Setup. Where it asks for Page Size, enter the appropriate measurements and proceed to step three. If, like mine, your printer refuses to work with anything besides 8.5x11/ A4, then my dear, you'll simply have to get creative with your columns, margins, and rows. It's possible to do, though.

Third step: Set up page orientation, margins around edges, and space between columns.

Go to wherever your word processor keeps its Page Format option (in Word and Works, I believe it's under the File menu.) Set your Page Orientation to Landscape and your top, bottom, left, and right margins to .5” (or wherever your minimum margin is for your program and printer).

Next, find the Columns option in your Format menu. Select two columns of equal width. Then it's time to decide on a space between those columns. Depending on what sort of binding you're doing and what your outer margins are, you may need more or less space for gutters. I've made one wee blank book with a hedgehog stitch (a la Moleskines) and I'm experimenting with a springback for my book-in-progress (which, hypothetically, should pop open to lie mostly flat, like a ledgerbook should). The hedgehog opens beautifully flat. From what I've read, hollowbacks and casebindings will want a little more gutter room, but I haven't any experience with those. Yet. Remember, each column is a page—what you see is what you'll get. If you've got .5” margins around your page, I'd recommend at least 1” of space between columns, so you've .5" on the insides of each page. If you're wary of gutterspace, try 1.2”. Now would be a lovely time to save the changes you've made.

Fourth step: Apply the Lock-up.

Open a new document—keep your source text document open—and apply the same formatting to the new one as you have to the original. Here's where the fun begins.

With your lock-up pattern near to hand and a good understanding of where you'll start (this may require a larger version of the lock-up, with notes like “blank,” “title,” “contents,” “text pg. 1,” etc.) , start copying and pasting from your original document. Note that I say COPYING instead of cutting—if you cut from the original, chances are the autoformat will pop the next column up to fill the void left by the cut text. So. COPY and paste into the new document, following your lock-up pattern.

At the end of every column, go up to your Insert menu and select Manual Break. From that menu of choices, select Column Break. This will keep your columns to themselves instead of letting them wander if you have to cut something from the lock-up document to put it somewhere else.

Every ROW in your lock-up will be one landscaped, two-column page in your document: one page for the Front, one page for the Back. (remember this? )

I leave it to you to decide whether to create all the fronts in line and then all the backs, or to follow the lock-up exactly and then print every other page when the time comes, turning them over to print the backs on the flipside of their proper fronts, and so on. Once you have all the data in the right columns, you can even print things page by page if you like. I have yet to discover which is the most efficient, error-proof way.

Be patient. Save often. Double and triple check before you print. And post pictures/comments/critique!

Happy binding; let me know how it turns out?

Wombat Music

2008-01-15T10:49:00.000-08:00

I have been charged with a task by my son.

As I was settling in to give him his evening songs, he piped, "I want a wombat song."
... "Well, babe, I don't know a wombat song. What else d'you feel like?"
"A Wombat song!"
... "I don't know enough about wombats to make up a good song, right now."
"Let's look it up!"
(I love my boy.) "In the morning, kiddio. First thing when you wake up, we'll look up wombats."
"They live in caves!"
"We'll look 'em up."
"And see babies?"
"Don't know if wikipedia has pictures of baby wombats, but I'm sure they're somewhere on the web. So yes, love. Tomorrow morning, we will look up wombats, and I will have a wombat song ready for you tomorrow night."
"YAY!!! A rock 'n' roll wombat song!!!"
"May be asking more than your oul mom's got, but I'll try."
"YAY!!!!"
"You got it. So what do you want to hear?"
"Something I've never heard before. And then something I HAVE heard before. And then something I HAVEN'T heard."

"No sweat."

So.
Tonight's lullabies brought to you by Bob Dylan, the Indigo Girls (their versions of "Tangled Up in Blue" and "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright"), and Melissa Etheridge ("Change").

Tomorrow?
Wikipedia.

Things we learned today that we probably should've already known:

2008-01-14T14:03:00.000-08:00

1) Iron-on transfer paper will gladly adhere to several things... except acrylic-paint-and-gesso-covered canvas board. There, some takes and some doesn't...

2) Sanding said board only encourages what paint and transfer remain to adhere more firmly...

It's not quite unsalvageable yet; If I can figure out a way to get paper to do what I'd meant the board to do, visually, then the board can still do its job structurally...

Still.

>.<

At least there's good IM company through it, though... :D

...
~goes back to eyeing parts of things and muttering...~

EDITED TO ADD:

3) Layer upon layer of ye olde iron-on can work, just remember to protect the inactive layer (when you're ironing the active layer) with the same piece of waxed-feeling paper that you peeled off of it.

4) At low, dry heat and with small designs (say, smaller than the widest point of the iron), it is safe to leave the iron sitting on the transfer...but not quite for as long as it takes to post a blog entry...

Unless it's a very short blog entry.

Thankfully, the transfer on transfer bit came out well; now we get to find paper to which to anchor it, and we'll be in business.

I'm glad to be back in my own bed.

2007-12-28T07:52:00.000-08:00

I spent my dreaming hours last night listening to Ani DiFranco music that hasn't been written yet.

The album felt a little like Reprieve and a little like Out of Range--very aware of the political climate, but more mature than to just rail against it. Speaking of personal responsibility for creating beautiful things and recognising beauty, personal responsibility for doing right things and knowing what Right is, our responsibilities to ourselves and eachother to live honestly and daringly. You could hear the products of the introspection that motherhood has brought her.

I spent the night listening to the music and working on visual interpretations of it. Not quite music videos, because MTV and VH1 would never touch something so clearly intended to poke people in the eye for listening to their televisions. But video attached to the music.

It may have been a thing independent of Ani's work, because I don't remember working with her, but I do remember working with a small classroom packed with kids of varying ages and temperaments. I remember the brainstorming sessions that went into planning the visuals. I remember helping kids gently cut Barbie dolls apart and watching them trimming and dying the dolls' hair into very punky styles, then running wire through their limbs and rejointing them into very mobile marionnettes. I remember watching them melt some of the untrimmed dolls' faces and reshape them. I remember watching the finished product of that one--rows and rows of Barbie dolls, dancing the same strange ballet. At first, you think it's cookie cutter beauty and Culture You Should Appreciate, the dancing equivalent of a subdivision where all the houses are from one of two blueprints. But then the camera moves to show each row of dolls, and the delicate movements their little hands can make when you give them a mobile wrist joint...and you see the hair. And you see the faces. And you see the modded makeup. And it speaks--you may have the same basic equipment as everyone else, but you've got your own intuition to show you how to use it: there's NO REASON not to do what you can with what you've got.

I remember being amazed at how personally my little group of outcasts and misfits took the project, and proud of their creative drive.

And I remember sitting across from Ani, both of us perched oddly in those old half-desk chairs that pretty much forced a kid to write righthanded with her book on her left knee, and playing the videos and displaying the paintings my kids had made. Watching her blink and nod and find this cool. Watching her blush at my students' gratitude--thank you for your inspiration! Trying not to squee like a fangirl, myself.

Then I remember dragging Mark through an unfamiliar city--it felt like Houston, maybe--walking the streets and sidewalks following someone else's music, peeking into alleys and up fire escapes and down manholes and finding beauty in the oddest places. Mark was game. He didn't understand it at first, and was coming along to keep me from putting myself in harm's way all unthinking. But by the end of the day, he was tapping my shoulder and pointing wonder out and following the navigator in the back of his head that says "Turn here and talk to the second person you meet" but doesn't tell you what to say.

And the second person was the wife of the woman whose music we were chasing. She was just back in town from a business trip, and was terrified that she'd just missed her lady, who was due to leave for a tour that same night. She was blocks from their apartment, it was getting late, and she didn't know whether she'd missed her window to say goodbye, good luck, I love you. Somehow, we took her under our wing and back to the apartment we were staying at--a living-space trade we'd made with a stranger--and asked whether her lady had a cellphone, and if she did, here's our phone to call her.

Just as we're unlocking our door, the door three down from us opens and a familiar-feeling woman comes out and turns to lock it behind her. And there's laughing and there's crying and there's happy to see eachother--because this is our stranger's lady, and just in time.

Quote of the night:

2007-12-17T21:14:00.000-08:00

"One time on Hollywood Boulevard I saw a young girl with a baby. It was a crisp winter morning & her hair shone dark purple in the sun. She was panhandling outside the Holiday Inn & the door clerk came out & told her to be on her way & I wondered if anyone would recognize the Christ child if they happened to meet. I remember thinking it's not like there are any published pictures & purple seemed like a good color for a Madonna so I gave her a dollar just in case."
~~Brian Andreas

(found here, where it's accompanied by the image of Mr. Andreas's that went along with the quote)

God rest you, Mr. Fogelberg.

2007-12-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

(from his website:)

Sunday, December 16

Dear friends,

Dan left us this morning at 6:00am . He fought a brave battle with cancer (In May of 2004, Dan was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer.) and died peacefully at home in Maine with his wife Jean at his side. His strength, dignity, and grace in the face of the daunting challenges of this disease were an inspiration to all who knew him.

...
...
...

Souvenirs

Here is a poem that my lady sent down
Some morning while I was away
Wrote on the back of a leaf that she found
Somewhere around Monterey
And here is the key to a house far away
Where I used to live as a child
They tore down the building when I moved away
And left the key unreconciled

And down in the canyon the smoke starts to rise
It rides on the wind 'til it reaches your eyes
When faced with the past the strongest man cries...cries

And here is a sunrise to set on your sill
The ghosts of the dawn moving near
They pass through your sorrow and leave you quite still...
Sitting among souvenirs
~California 1971~